THE BPD BUNCH
I’m thrilled to announce that I recently joined The BPD Bunch! The BPD Bunch is a video podcast featuring a panel of individuals in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Together, we discuss BPD-related topics, share our varied recovery journeys, and offer insight, hope, and direction for others navigating BPD. Below, you’ll find some of my featured highlights and contributions to the show, but there are many more episodes, full discussions, and much more content available to explore through the links provided.
I stayed angry for YEARS: BPD, Resentment, & Revenge Fantasies BPD Hostility - Part One is available now.
Have you ever been so angry at someone that hurting them felt completely justified?
In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Mo, Raf, Georgette, Katja, and I get brutally honest about our experiences with BPD and hostility. From holding grudges for years to deliberately targeting someone’s insecurities, we share the behaviors they once defended and the damage those behaviors caused.
We also explore what was happening underneath the anger, including shame, fear, perceived rejection, and the belief that they were protecting themselves or someone else. Sometimes the hardest part of looking back is realizing that being hurt didn’t make every reaction justified.
In this episode, we discuss:
•BPD and hostility
•BPD rage and intense anger
•Holding grudges and long-lasting resentment
•Shame turning into anger
•Verbal aggression and hurting loved ones
•Splitting and perceived hostility
•Passive-aggressive behavior in relationships
•Justifying harmful behavior when emotionally dysregulated
If you’ve ever looked back at something you did in anger and wondered how you convinced yourself it was okay, this conversation is for you.
* Watch the Episode: https://youtu.be/YxnB_34h7xA?si=EBzM8DOtrQmpE1w6
* The BPD Bunch YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
* Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x4x5CrJaQmzC1TtB9JsMp
* Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bpd-bunch/id1652071223
How We Learned to Stop Taking Risks We Knew We’d Regret.
What does it actually take to stop taking risks when they’ve become your way of coping?
In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, André, Georgette, Melanie, Dan, and I talk about what has actually helped them manage risk-taking and impulsive behavior with BPD. From delaying purchases and putting roadblocks around spending to writing the angry email without actually sending it, we share the practical ways we’ve learned to create space between an urge and an action. We also get into the harder part: tolerating uncomfortable emotions, recognizing when “fun” is actually a pattern that keeps ending badly, relying on other people, and learning that struggling with an urge doesn’t mean the work isn’t working.
Topics include:
BPD and risk-taking
BPD and impulsivity
Impulsive spending
Acting on intense emotions
Substance use and risky behavior
Sitting with uncomfortable emotions
DBT skills and wise mind
BPD recovery and behavior change
If you know the consequences and still struggle to stop yourself in the moment, this conversation gets into what can happen between “I want to do this” and actually doing it.
* Watch the Episode: https://youtu.be/ETSEWiGBwEI?si=DF8As7v13K7sPNPk
* The BPD Bunch YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
* Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x4x5CrJaQmzC1TtB9JsMp
* Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bpd-bunch/id1652071223
Have you ever known something could end badly and still felt like the risk barely mattered in the moment?
Why BPD Can Make Dangerous Choices Feel Completely Reasonable.
In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, André, Georgette, Melanie, Dan, and myself get honest about how risk-taking showed up in their lives with BPD. We share experiences with drugs, sex, unsafe situations, reckless driving, impulsive spending, validation seeking, and choices that made perfect sense in the moment and looked completely different afterward.
We also dig into what was happening underneath those choices: chasing immediate relief, escaping painful emotions, wanting acceptance, feeling invincible, and sometimes simply not caring enough about themselves to think about what could happen next.
Topics include:
• BPD and risk-taking
• BPD and impulsivity
• Drugs and substance use
• Sexual risk-taking
• Reckless driving
• Impulsive spending
• Instant gratification and dopamine
• Self-destructive behavior and BPD
If you’ve ever looked back at something you did and thought, “How did that not feel dangerous to me at the time?” this conversation is for you.
* Watch the Episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRL3vFWh3iI&t=7s
* The BPD Bunch YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
* Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x4x5CrJaQmzC1TtB9JsMp
* Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bpd-bunch/id1652071223
What if your fear that someone is going to leave isn’t just BPD separation insecurity, because they actually keep saying they’re leaving?
In this mini episode of The BPD Bunch…Xannie, Carys Cao, Katja, and I respond to a viewer whose partner repeatedly threatens to pack their things and leave. We talk about why those threats can be especially destabilizing when you struggle with abandonment fears, how to tell the difference between needing space and threatening the relationship, and why the context behind those words matters.
Sometimes BPD can make us interpret something as abandonment when that isn’t what the other person meant. And sometimes the threat really is being made. This conversation is about figuring out which situation you’re actually in and what you can do from there.
What do you do when “this hurt me” gets heard as “you’re a horrible person”?
In this mini episode of The BPD Bunch, xannibelle , Justin, and lifeofaborderlinenarc talk about criticism, splitting, defensiveness, and how to have difficult conversations when someone with BPD is highly sensitive to perceived rejection or shame.
They get into what has actually helped in their own relationships, including balancing compassion with accountability, avoiding assumptions about someone’s intentions, knowing when to pause a conversation, and accepting an uncomfortable reality: there may not be a perfect way to say something that guarantees the other person won’t become upset or dysregulated.
Why BPD Makes Every Goodbye Feel Like the End | Fear of Abandonment Recovery - PART TWO
Have you ever run away hoping someone would follow, panicked when plans changed, or treated someone needing space like proof they were about to leave? Xannie, André, Georgette, Carys, Katja, and myself share what actually helped them manage fear of abandonment and separation insecurity in BPD. They talk about relationship testing, canceled plans, reassurance, friendship jealousy, losing themselves inside other people, and the difference between feeling abandoned and actually being abandoned. They also discuss the less glamorous parts of getting better: asking partners not to reinforce unhealthy behavior, building an identity outside a relationship, tolerating separation, checking the facts, coping ahead, and accepting losses that cannot be changed.
Topics include:
BPD and fear of abandonment
Separation anxiety in relationships
Testing partners and running away
Reassurance seeking and canceled plans
Losing your identity in relationships
Friendship jealousy and fear of being replaced
DBT check the facts and radical acceptance
Recovering from BPD relationship behaviors
If a delayed reply, canceled plan, or one person needing space can make your entire relationship feel endangered, this conversation will probably feel painfully familiar.
* Watch the Episode: https://youtu.be/98x-2E5Fyn4?si=hn-TFOiVueXdwIhp
* The BPD Bunch YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
* Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x4x5CrJaQmzC1TtB9JsMp
* Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bpd-bunch/id1652071223
When BPD Makes a Person Feel Like a Drug: Fear of Abandonment & Relationship Obsession.
Have you ever been so afraid of losing someone that you monitored every change in their behavior, panicked when they spent time with someone else, or pushed them away before they could replace you? In this episode, Xannie, Georgette, Carys, Katja, André, and Justin to talk about separation insecurity and fear of abandonment in BPD. They share what it was like when another person felt necessary for emotional survival, including obsessive reassurance seeking, leaving relationships first, trying to control a partner’s behavior, and losing their sense of identity outside the relationship. The group also confronts some of the harder truths about these experiences: when desperate attempts to keep someone close become manipulative or frightening, why love can become tangled with primal fear, and how old losses can make every new relationship feel like another abandonment waiting to happen.
Topics include:
* BPD and fear of abandonment
* Separation anxiety in relationships
* Fear of being replaced
* Relationship obsession and emotional dependence
* Favorite person attachment
* Pushing people away before they leave
* Manipulative behavior and abandonment panic
* Losing your identity in a relationship
If you’ve ever panicked when someone took too long to reply, assumed another person would replace you, or left first because waiting to be abandoned felt unbearable, this episode is for you.
* Watch the Episode: https://youtu.be/aKYHZn75wvw?si=f18uKbKHTdP0mB2X
* The BPD Bunch YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
* Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x4x5CrJaQmzC1TtB9JsMp
* Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bpd-bunch/id1652071223
New Episode of The BPD Bunch is out now!
This week we have part two of our conversation on intimacy.
Have you ever confused emotional intensity with intimacy? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Andre, Carys, Mo, and I continue our conversation about BPD and intimacy, this time focusing on what actually helped us build healthier relationships in recovery. We talk about fear, jealousy, abandonment panic, choosing chaotic people because stability felt boring, learning not to punish people before having hard conversations, and realizing that love does not have to feel like emotional survival.
* Watch the Episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYKGXbKFLSY
* The BPD Bunch YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
* Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x4x5CrJaQmzC1TtB9JsMp
* Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bpd-bunch/id1652071223
Have you ever felt like losing one person would destroy your entire life… even while the relationship itself was destroying you?
I recently sat down with The BPD Bunch to have a raw, honest conversation about intimacy.
For a long time, I confused drama with closeness and "testing" with love. It’s a exhausting cycle that many of us with BPD know all too well.
In this episode, we dive into:
The panic of abandonment.
Why we go back to what hurts us.
How to build healthy closeness when your symptoms are at their loudest.
If you’ve ever felt like your relationships are a rollercoaster you can’t get off, this one is for you. You aren’t alone in this.
* Watch the Episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJcJXzfSTkI
* The BPD Bunch YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
* Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x4x5CrJaQmzC1TtB9JsMp
* Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bpd-bunch/id1652071223
My Brain on BPD.
I am incredibly excited to share that I have officially joined the cast of The BPD Bunch! My first episode was released today, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the warm welcome from the team. I wasBeing asked to be a part of this panel—sharing stories of recovery and resilience alongside such a dedicated group—is a true honor. It has been a meaningful experience to contribute to these important conversations about Borderline Personality Disorder, and I'm looking forward to everything this season has in store.
You can watch my debut interview and keep up with the show through the links below:
* Watch the Episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ay1fH_CbwNI
* The BPD Bunch YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
* Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x4x5CrJaQmzC1TtB9JsMp
* Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bpd-bunch/id1652071223
I Wasn’t “Loving Hard.” I Was Losing Myself.
BPD bunch is a video podcast, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. We discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own. Season 7 is airing NOW with new uploads Wednesdays.
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thebpdbunch/
YOUTUBE: https://m.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
The BPD Bunch is also available on Spotify & Apple Podcast!
I joined the BPD BUNCH!
I’m thrilled to announce I am the newest member on the The BPD Bunch!
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thebpdbunch/
YOUTUBE: https://m.youtube.com/@thebpdbunch
BPD bunch is a video podcast, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. We discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone's life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own. (We're currently on a break between seasons, but will post short form content regularly until we return for Season Seven in March.)
The BPD Bunch is also available on Spotify & Apple Podcast!
https://open.spotify.com/show/3x4x5CrJaQmzC1TtB9JsMp
https://podcasts.apple.com/.../the-bpd-bunch/id1652071223
Here is my first contribution to the BPD Bunch: A Thought About Breakups When You Live With Borderline Personality Disorder.
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